Whispers On The Wind
by Fullelven
Summary: Amaya awakes from her slumber and reflects on the events that brought her to the ale-induced sleep. Written for the Fiction Contest #1 at The Fellowship Community.


**Title:** Whispers on the Wind **  
Pairing: **Amagolas  
**Song: **Honey by L'arc-en-Ciel  
**Contest Prompt: **The oneshot must be a songfic. A sonfic qualifies as a fic that includes lyrics from one song every now and then within it. Must be Lord of the Rings(obviously). You are allowed to use characters from the collab, which is preferable.  
**Summary:** Amaya wakes from her slumber after Legolas returns her to her room, the moments at the party still all too fresh in her mind.  
**Disclaimer: **I only own Amaya. The song is Honey by L'arc-en-Ciel, translated by Levanter at Anime Lyrics dot Com. Legolas is property of J.R.R. Tolkien as well as all that other fun Lord of the Rings stuff. Also... "Oh, I am fortune's fool." is a Shakespeare allusion. )__

I have always been gazing _  
ever since the distant days of my childhood_ _  
Even till today, that faint scenery_ _  
still decorates my pure-white walls._

The darkness of the room almost frightened the young half-Elven healer as she awoke from her ale-induced slumber, and she quickly scryed her mind for remnants of where she was and why. A window was cracked, allowing a cool breeze in that whipped her thin blonde locks from her pale face, the silver threads of moonlight weaving their way through the shadows to allow only a basic view of the modest room. It didn't take much for her to recognize this as her room within the Inn in Minas Tirith.

She turned over in the bed, lighting a candle on the nightstand. As the flame flickered to life she found it lifted the haze from her memory like the sun burns away the morning fog. 

_I... kissed Legolas._

Instantly, her hand came to gently touch those delicate pink lips of hers where only moments before she had brought them crashing against those very lips that belonged to none other than the Prince of Mirkwood, the object of her heart's affection. Amaya's hand trembled slightly and she let it drop to her side, gazing at the pristine white walls as the images replayed through her head.

"_Am I embarrassing you?" she snapped._

_"Yes!" he told her._

She shook the visions from her consciousness, feeling tears well up behind her crystalline blue eyes. A silence permeated throughout the room and for some reason, it made her anxious. Standing, she began to pace the tiny room only to realize her light weight and Elven grace wouldn't allow the boards to creek beneath her. 

_That won't do..._

Amaya found her way absently to the window, gazing out over the City of Kings, but even in the presence of the moon and stars above, she could not hide the pain within her heart and they bare witness to her tears that began to slip from her cerulean orbs. "Oh, I am fortune's fool."

Her words were soft, spoken as if she were speaking them in confidence to the night and it alone.

"My heart betrays me... enraptured in the ideals of being loved by him." She didn't bother to wipe the slow tears that silently slid down her cheeks, turning them a light pink. "Yet my mind knows that he cannot love me, because he is _pure_... and a Prince at that. And there is no room in his life for a half-blood commoner."

She turned away from the window, though only to sit against the windowsill. "In my life... he was the one who accepted me as a person... and I go and ruin it by fallen. Truly, my advances and taking advantage of our friendship makes me the abomination his people believe me to be."

_Entangled by the dry winds,_ _  
taking you with me_ _  
Honey so sweet,  
_ _catching the limitless dream in my arms._

There was a taint on the wind, an impending darkness that went all but unnoticed by the half-Elf, though caught up in her own miseries, seemed to miss it completely. In body, the maiden remained in her room in Minas Tirith, safe and sound despite the lines of sadness that took over her delicate features. In mind though, she was no longer constrained by reality, by the very rules of society... her imagination was a vessel in which she had no limitations.

Free to float forever in the infinite seas of her heart's true desire.

There were many times that she would find herself gazing into this world of her own creation, always a different surrounding, but within all there remained one constant. _Him. _Some days, they rode horseback through their shared kingdom of Mirkwood, greeting the citizens as their King and Queen. Other times...

Other times there was nothing. A white void in which they were together, alone, not a care in the world.

Thousands of scenarios, fantasies that caused her heart to flutter as she let them carry her away from the living realm. Each time, she'd venture a little further, her inner self becoming more bold. More like the person she wished she could be. Each time... she would imagine them sharing loving glances, tender touches. More like the ones Lady Hayley and Boromir shared that let the world know they were unequivocally in love.

Each time, she'd come back to reality, crashing harder than ever and realizing she'll never have that.Even in her fantasies, he loved the her that she _imagined_ she was... that the her that she truly was. 

_In the rolling roads,_  
_I just went a little crazy._  
_I can't take away the deep pain but,_  
_don't look at me with those sad eyes._

The tears began to sting her eyes, and trying to hold them back only caused her throat to burn. Drying her face a little roughly with the back of her hand, she found herself more frustrated than ever with herself. She could drink all the ale in Middle Earth, but none of it could take back the events from the party. "Can you ever forgive my acts, my Prince? Can you pardon the drunken actions of a love-sick fool?"

Part of her wanted to blame the Elven Ranger for her foolish actions, to blame the anguish and nonsensical behavior on his inability to requite her love for him. Her soul didn't want to believe that everything that had happened between them she had managed being well mind, body, and spirit...

The other part of her couldn't do anything but hate her for being the idiot that she was and falling for him in the first place.

She'd seen the way he'd looked at her, the mix of sympathy and embarrassment after her drunken kiss and it almost made Amaya skeptical of the kindness he'd shown her all along. Had that been the reason he'd always found his way into her shop? The reason he'd chatted with her for hours despite the disdainful looks from the townspeople... _His_ townspeople? She knew better and immediately squashed the thoughts. Legolas was never one for fronts.

Another gentle breeze caressed the bare flesh of her arms and neck, causing the candle to flicker and nearly wink out. The healer could feel another round of tears threaten to spill forth. _Will there be no end to this pain? _Perhaps that would be her penance, her price to pay for falling for the Prince.

A lifetime of heartache in his service, only to die a miserable and lonely maiden. 

_Entangled by the dry winds,_  
_taking you with me_ _  
Honey so sweet, I want you to believe me_ _  
Even if this world is a lie._

"You have to stop doing this to yourself, Amaya."

There was no movement from her, no attempt to turn around and see where the voice had come from. It was a question easily answered; merely another delusion carried to her by the midnight's wind. But there was no resistance as she crossed her arms across her modest chest, bowing her head to fixate her gaze on the boards.

"I hate to see you ailing so, and over me."

Amaya smiled some at that, though she found her mind already threatening to cut her fantasy short. "Then deliver me from it. Let yourself be the cure to this illness you've inflicted on my heart." Her eyes never looked up once, not even as she saw the shadow pool around her feet and felt his presence consume hers.

"You know that I cannot..."

Again, the fight was lost and she found herself unable to keep the emotion back any longer. Teardrops fell like rain to dampen the bare floor in the distance between them. "Because of what I am... who I am." She finished for him. Even her fallacies were denying her... she was a pathetic being indeed.

There was silence between them for a moment before her dream spoke again. "It was never a matter of that- -"

"Then what was it?"

She shouldn't have looked up, finding her eyes fell only on the empty and barren walls of her room once more. A school girl's fantasy gone bad, again.

_I want to fly, waitin' for sunrise_

Daybreak was so far off... even further off for one who could go days without sleep. And as her mind ran through scenarios, regardless of their affect on her, she knew it would only seem the longer. Ordinarily, her spirit did not dwell on matters of the heart like it did this night. Mayhaps a side effect from the wedding?

Before it was about the ring, about the Fellowship and protecting Middle Earth. Then peace came, but still the people or Mirkwood needed their assistance, so little time gave way to rest. And now... now they'd had time to settle and everything was about _love._

_Always, always_ _I want to melt in your sweet, sweet smile._

The candle gave another flicker, nearly burned down to the mithril casting that held it in place. Heading to the cabinet, a bit of white fabric caught her eye, bringing a small smile to her lips. The formal robes she'd picked up in Rivendell lay out and ready for the wedding. She touched the fabric gently, remembering having tried them on for the first time, coming down the stairs where Legolas had only been able to stare with as he formed a bashful smile.

It had been the first time he'd looked at her like that, almost like he realized that she was no longer the little half-Elf in the apothecary's shop, but a beautiful young woman. Of course... even if that wasn't his intended meaning behind the smile, her heart still quivered at the look nonetheless. 

_Fate caught me_ _  
Everything around me is hazy but,  
_ _don't stop yourself, you can hear it, can't you?_ _  
That place is calling. _ _  
Entangled by the dry winds,_  
_taking you with me_  
_Honey so sweet, _ _  
catching the limitless dream with my arms._

He may not have looked at her like that again since, but perhaps it was not too late for her to right her wrongs.

The candle forgotten, it had burned itself out, leaving nothing but light tendrils of smoke rising from the pool of quickly cooling melted wax. Grasping the stick of beeswax, she replaced them and started to light it, but paused. She needed to get out of the room... perhaps a walk would clear her mind.

After all, there was no use sitting alone in her room crying over things she could not change. Amaya was exactly as she appeared; a half-Elven healer. Those were merely the cards she had been dealt and Middle Earth would just have to deal with it. When the smoke lifted, past the whispered words and unkind rumors that you could find the real her. Who she was inside carried more weight than what she was...

It was who she was inside that would hear the call of the sea. Would what she was truly matter when she finally took the voyage to Valinor? 

_No... I will live eternity and perhaps finally be accepted for who I am inside. _

Amaya straightened her clothes in the mirror, fixing what creases there were from her impromptu nap and combed her hair which easily fell back to an acceptable style, being mindful of the braids and beads here and there. Once satisfied she gave one more look, almost trying to will the red puffiness around her eyes away. 

_Doesn't matter, shouldn't be anyone else out and about at this hour anyway._

Heading for the door, she didn't know where she was headed. Only that her mind would hopefully rest with the first signs of daylight.

_I want to fly, waitin' for sunrise  
I want to fly, waitin' for sunrise_


End file.
